now if you haven't noticed, the site express through reality has just drifted away from the original idea of "expressing through reality". Do i plan going back on being the deep soulful or stick to the typical angry, hating people blogger? I don't know, i really hate a lot of people in the world so this phase is gonna take a while

Shit, music has gone into a new level. After a night jamming with my kuya and a bunch of choir member, it was pretty cool. Did some improv. Just today he emailed me to see if i'm interested to play with some guitarist from japan. Like just to come over and jam. Of course i say yes. Think about it. I love japanese culture including the music and people who are from japan who like the bands i like are gonna come over (hehe pillows song) and jam. God damn man, this is too aweseom

Easily that last post was me being crazy, well umm yeh relationships are stupid, wait till your older.

ARGHH, jesus fucking christ, like just kill yourself right now since your mind is obviously fucked to the core with that damn guy. Two days ago i remember, it's best for you to stay out of it then BAM a day later you fuck yourself over and go back with him. 6 times of bullshit. OMFG, like i'm about to smack her striaght in the side of the head and say, "that smack should set your brain in the proper place". Shit fuck, get it through your damn head and stick with your damn decision that you know is right. Obviously you are just plain fucking weak just to not move on. What happens with you future now? What living your life being depressed over a guy who doesn't deserve you feeling? What now? Would you kill yourself over him because your heart cannot Be "put back together?" Bullshit, you are an idiot, a failure at life. A bigger failure than that stupid girl i thought was the one. Fuck shit.

Man....After his death, i look at it and i think, TWICE, i was that close. Twice. I could've easily been gone from here. Twice. Now i'm forced to watch one soo close to me go a similiar way. Down. Straight down. One cannot control one's feelings. He had hurt her deep twice, and she was on the verge of breaking down. Luckily enough, with little help from me and her own determination she pulled out of it. One girl i had once loved, i can't distinguish truth or false from her. It's difficult to pull the truth out of her. I tried, but you know parents, especially asian parents stopped me. I called and called but what's the use. The third day someone picked up, said on the other line, not here, was she actually not there? I can't trust it but i'll take that word. Twice i think again, the same path. After my realization, i face people who i care about going through similar. I want to do something but how? How do i help them. Ones i treasure....how do i save them? I really want to, i really would sacrifice everything i have just for them. What do i do know? What hope do i have to help?

Our fellow brother has taken his own life today. I met him during rugby, my senior Hooker i had to follow. With him we won the championship. In the last game I faced off against him. I knew little of him but enough to have a connection. Another year of Rugby would be appreciated since we both would've again faced off. A harsh reality that humanity is forced to faced. The death of a fellow friend has such affect no matter the relationship you had with them. Always saviour the relationship you have with anyone you know. Always keep them close and never ever let go.





R.I.P Chris Gyles

You cannot give up more than once on the same thing. One person i see, claims to give up but when she has, i see her again giving up on the exact same thing she gave up on. Life she has given up on. If she has, why is she still here eh? Why hasn't she given up when she god damn standing? You give up on this one thing....you are a failure at your OWN LIFE!!! At such a young age someone was able to accomplish that...soo sad.